Divorce Survival Guide: What No One Tells You




It is often known that family discord, especially in the process of divorce, is a highly stressful and emotionally charged event. If it is an amicable divorce then it makes you realize that there are many issues that you have to encounter. To do this one has to consider matters like financial issues, child support, and other essential concerns. There are also emotional and mental effects that present themselves when you are trying to cope with the reality of a dissolved marriage. This divorce survival guide is a brief look at some aspects no one wants to tell you about divorce to prepare you adequately.


The Grieving Process

The ending of a marriage also raises issues of mourning the loss In essence, death and its aftermath. If you are the one filing for the divorce, you will experience a number of the stages of grief including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You should never box yourself into feeling only one way or the other – it’s okay to feel everything in between. Do not dismiss it and do not rush through it, as grief is a natural part of the grieving process. This may take time, and it is okay to allow yourself to dwell in the emotions so that you can actually feel better and progress with your life. 


Get Support

Coming through a divorce is distressing enough in its own right. But when one tries to face it on their own, the difficulty is so much higher. This is why people should have someone close whom they can trust in, who will be their support whenever they need it. Regardless whether you have many friends, relatives, a therapist, a divorce coach, or a group of supporters, do not hesitate to get it. It is very helpful to have people to turn to and tell them that you need to hear this, so you are not alone.


The Logistics Are Overwhelming

Divorce is rife with details to sort out from child support, alimony, visitation rights, and physical custodianship to the documents you need to sign. You can easily spend countless hours keeping up with it all, and it feels like a second full-time job. This is another time that people should be advised by lawyers, financial advisors, real estate agents, etc. He or she might be able to assist you in making good decisions during such a time that you may be so emotional.


It Gets Messy

In the best of divorce, people anger and quarrel may be due to other reasons such as misunderstanding. When it comes to emotions, you may have anger, betrayal, resentment, and a great deal more to your ex. Attempt to act professionally and take every situation seriously, but expect some messiness to occur. Remaining cool and maturity is good, though at times you have to draw the line and be the adult. This is another time when a counselor can be helpful to address the feelings and ensure that they are dealt with in a positive manner.


The Costs Add Up  

There is another aspect that may be less appreciated and that is the cost of the divorce or the money that must be invested in that process. If possible, set aside a lawyer fee, separate homes to name a few; then come up with an emergency fund. Also, be prepared for a shift in the way one lives since assets are likely to be split between the two parties. Try to be as objective as you can and make as many good financial decisions that would contribute to the welfare of both the individual and the ex-spouse.


During your days in college, your social life will also undergo some changes.

Of course, it would be expected that as the couple is going through the process of divorce, you and your spouse’s friends might feel a bit uncomfortable with the interaction in the future. You may find out that someone will give you divorce advice, some will stay indifferent, and others will even turn against you. You need to understand this is perfectly fine and it is okay to surround yourself with individuals who still remain faithful to you despite this status. It is crucial to focus on developing well-functioning relationships with the people who will support you in your life.


Self-Care Is Crucial  

Daily you will have many days during the process of going through a divorce that you will be feeling so drained, weary, frustrated, discouraged, annoyed, and what have you . This is why it’s important to do what needs to be done for self-care each and every day. Some may need more sleep than others, or healthier food, a walk outside, reading a happy book, or a bubble bath – whatever it is that will help one Loved One to look after themselves in the midst of the craziness.


Radical Self-Reliance Emerges

When you have joined the bond of marriage, you do not consider yourself as an individual but as an “us”. After the divorce you are alone once more, all on your own again, which for some appears to be the most insurmountable obstacle of all. This means moving up to be completely on your own to take responsibility for your life as you want it to be. It can be disconcerting and isolating when you are beginning with it, but the situation is not permanent. The time to go out alone and find out what you want, need, and like. Acceptance to discovering again what makes us ‘alive’.



Divorce is highly emotionally, mentally, financially and socially charged so any process of divorce is up and down, literally. Rather than stressing on how fast you as a woman ought to go through each stage, allow yourself much latitude through every stage. Make use of well-meaning people who can encourage you to do something and professionals to consult in the event you need help. It is also important to note that self-care is a crucial factor that should be practiced in order to recover and embrace a new chapter in life. But if you stay patient and strong, and do not give up, you will make it through this challenging period of transition.


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